Recently, congress voted to roll back landmark privacy protections enacted by the FCC. Soon enough, everyone’s internet data will be available for purchase. Through a disgruntled congressional staffer, we at Thirsty & Miserable were able to get our hands on some of the private Google search data for some members of congress and the Trump administration. In the interest of an informed citizenry, we’ve provided it below.

Paul Ryan

“Not now, bae. Workin’ on my #gainz. Maybe just take an Uber to the hospital and pay out of pocket.”

“Rage Against the Machine songs praising free market”

“How to use P90x to get off welfare”

“Ayn Rand erotic fan fiction”

“Timelapse of uninsured woman dying from leukemia no crying”

Jared Kushner

Kushner in Iraq

“Holy shit I can’t believe Saddam is still alive lol”

“What does a SWAT team do”

“Useful startup buzzwords”

“Fallujah zoning laws”

Steve Bannon

tfw you just looked in a mirror and realize you’re not a paragon of the master race

“Best cargo shorts for concealing weapons and/or mind control serum”

“Birth of a Nation with laugh track”

“The wasps keep stinging my face oh god why”

“What to do if human skin gets bloated before you reveal your final form”

Jeff Sessions

“White hat power!”

“Reefer Madness southern drawl subtitles”

“Examples of non-racist cross burnings”

“Do private prisons host minstrel shows”

Bernie Sanders

“WHY IN THE RICHEST COUNTRY ON EARTH, CAN WE NOT AFFORD TO GIVE EACH OF OUR CITIZENS A DUNKIN DONUTS GIFT CARD”

“Are ant colonies socialist”

“American Psycho based on true story”

“Is ‘intersectional’ a type of sofa produced in factories by unionized workers”

What the hell is stamps dot com

Hillary Clinton

*extremely mainstream liberal voice* “You know, I MAY not be a member of any organized FETISH community, but I still think I would make a great leather daddy”

“Edible twigs and berries vs poisonous”

“Snappy comebacks for 18-34 demographic”

“Edgy pantsuits”

“God damn it, what did Lena Dunham say now”

Mike Pence

Pence and Wife

“Dang it, Jesus, you told me there wouldn’t be any other unmarried women in here! Why must you tempt me to do sexy things with me-WOMEN who are not mother???”

“How to ward off curses from unmarried strumpets”

“DC Restaurants MEN ONLY”

“Do abortions cause my impure thoughts and urges”

“What does bear mean in craigslist personal”

“Hourly hotels northern Virginia”

Donald Trump

I have no funny caption. This man is beyond parody. We are all living in hell.

“Frederick Douglass highest rated, most tremendous televised speech”

“Race car bed queen size”

“Can the president go to Wrestlemania”

“Facts about women”

“Big boobs”